


Poetry written by Michael Mell

by Birdy07



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Depression, M/M, Michael is a poet, Suicidal Thoughts, Therapy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:40:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24015355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Birdy07/pseuds/Birdy07
Summary: Michael's shrink insists that he is a great writer and should consider writing poetry as a way to vent emotion. So he does and it doesn't suck nearly as much as he thought it would.Or the one where the author likes to write character studies through poetry.
Relationships: Jeremy Heere/Michael Mell
Comments: 7
Kudos: 17





	1. Write after the squip Jeremy does not apologize... This is how I feel?

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know when I will update this. I just wanted an excuse to write poetry it happens to be my favorite thing in the world.

When you know your life ending.  
When you know you're good as dead.  
When you know it's no use mending  
The words you left unsaid.

That moment you need something,  
To fight away the sounds.  
Your world falls down crumbling  
Amidst what leaps and bounds?

I promised I was getting better.  
I said I was doing fine.  
But my lies just keep getting wetter.  
I'll drown with each new line.

"I can help you stop it."  
The voices shriek and scream.  
They pull me in their orbit.  
Showing blade with shine and gleam.

They promise me release  
From a world full of sorrow  
They promise ill be at peace  
if I never see tomorrow.

You were my life,  
How could you think I wouldn't care?  
You brought me to this knife.  
But that truth I'll never share.

I can't live, without your smile.  
I can't breath ,without your eyes.  
I can't exist, if you think me vile.  
I can't be trapped, in this disguise.

I really am sorry,  
For letting you all down.  
But know i'm where it's starry.  
Where beasts don't where the crown.

I am free from all this empty.  
No, the voices didn't lie.  
Where I am, there is plenty.  
and best friends don't say goodbye


	2. Love? Nope.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael loves Jeremy. Jeremy loves christine, and that's okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a little shorter because it can be I do this for fun please don't hate me.

you have pretty brown hair,  
Pretty blue eyes,  
Is it weird I long to stare?  
Yet you fail to recognise.

The smile was fake,  
Something only I would know.  
The voices beg to take,  
they promise to not let go.

You're so beautiful,  
But the world can't let you see  
It's just a fiery crucible,  
And you're burning here with me.

You're trapped inside your head,  
Screaming at yourself.  
The voices wish you dead,  
But I wish something else.

I wish you knew the joy you bring  
I wish that you could see.  
I wish the voices would stop to sing,  
And finally set us free.

I wish the world wasn't so cruel  
I wish that dreams came true.  
I guess that makes me a fool,  
But at least I still have you.

After everything we've been through,  
Can answers be in stars above?  
Can we finally just be two?  
is this really love? 

With quick breath comes my answer  
As you look at her and smile,  
Pain grows in my heart like cancer.  
I am prepared for exile.

I know I'm just a loser,  
And Christine is your crush.  
I will always let you choose her,  
Even if it it ruins us.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's okay I hate me to.


	3. Life?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael contemplates the bullies of Middlesbrough.

The world beats the good out of you,  
and I don't understand why  
We need to cower from the storm it's people brew  
Until we bleed or cry.

They shove us into lockers  
They scream their hateful words.  
We endure scorn from mockers  
Who screech like scavengers.

With barely a reward  
We suffer through it all  
Each slur a mark scored,  
For the kings who rule the brawl.

They get praise and admiration.  
We get cuts along our wrists.  
They cause pain and devastation.  
They make it known we won't be missed.

People say that words can't hurt you  
But I guess that they forgot,  
That words can and will subdue you,  
in a prison with your thoughts.

So I smile wide to hide the pain  
beneath a toothy grin  
The people shriek I'll go insane  
Each word a stabbing pin.

Maybe if I just listen.  
Maybe it could stop  
Why must I fight to keep my distance?  
why do I fight the sudden drop?

Then I hear your laugh  
and Then I see your smile.  
I could stick it out on your behalf,  
You make the empty ache of pain worthwhile.


	4. Thoughts?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael contemplates who He is.

Who am I?  
They say i'm some freak.  
But when I look at the sky.  
It gives no answers for that which I seek.

I am so broken.  
But stiched together over and over.  
My heart glowing like a token,  
Begging to be any other.

I am so afraid.  
But not fearful enough of you.  
All the memories we've made.  
How much more can I be devalued?

I am so drowned,   
In a pit of my own depression.  
If I could a million pills I would have already downed.  
Without asking a second question.

I am so tired.  
But not enough to sleep.  
My brain has been rewired,  
It echoes a constant warning beep.

I am so Lonely.  
but never alone, just cursed.  
I am me the one and only.  
Out of every person I can't possibly be the worst.

But they say I am.  
They say I deserve to bleed.  
Why should give a damn  
Why can't I just be freed.

I shouldnt care.  
But I do.  
It isn't fair  
That every word they say leaves more and more residue.

So I say goodbye,  
To a world that never cared.  
I let my words lie,  
With every suicidal thought I never shared.


End file.
